Some things are better left forgotten. I wasn't going to place my thoughts on pages this time, but someone mentioned I may learn from all of this years from now. Mourning is a process, it matters not if you mourn because of death, or loss of another type. Denial, anger, so on and so forth. Its all part of the process, so I'm told. One door closes, three windows open. Remaining silent was not the answer, I wasn't even aware of that until I began speaking.
Annjia, an elf I have met on several occasions proved to be a willing ear, even if I did seem to allude to the strange workings of my mind. It was safer to speak of the Tribe than what was truly eating at me. It did help however, despite my admitting to envisioning members of the tribe as parts of the animal kingdom. Not physically of course, more like personalities, it makes it much easier to not feel so ill at ease. I admit to looking forward to conversing with her again sometime.
Westel had found me directly after I melted two sentimental objects of Jay's. Luckily for me, he did not show up until after the deed was done and was not witness to my own, personal small meltdown. He offered words of comfort and I truly believe he could empathize with my emotions. It was nice to feel a type of sibling bonding...for lack of a better term in that moment. He recently informed me that he and his fiancee have set a date for their wedding. I, of course, offered my congratulations and I truly hope they retain the happiness they have found together.
Westlynn, my Regent, sent food and I admitted to her via a letter that I was certain I was losing my mind. I was terrified that I would be looked upon with derision, but thankfully, the delusions ceased and thanks to my new family and friends, I made it through my own personal hell.
I have not seen my mentor since the day she showed me around her and Kal's home. She seems to be incredibly busy or perhaps I have displeased her in some fashion? Either way, this Lioness will forge her own path, take the mistakes that I make in stride and use them as a learning point while attempting to find my place within the Tribe and family that I desire so much. A new initiate, Tyrlink, a troll with a goblin companion was recently added to our family. He is the mentee of Mukwa. Perhaps my friendship with Mukwa will allow me to get to know this new initiate and his friend, Molly. Speaking of Mukwa, it appears as though the potion I had helped him create is still in effect. It didn't seem to help his memories, but he doesn't seem as confused as he did at one point.
Finding myself homeless, I was offered an adventure. A series of hunts that would not only test my skill, my strength, and my wits, would also offer me a chance to get back to my roots. I remember a time I had spent more time outside the city walls than within. At some point, that had changed. This adventure is...interesting. We are only a few days in, and of course, the man I am with tries my very patience, and my willpower. Unfortunately, my patience seems much greater than said will power. Chemistry is too small a word to define what happens when Keslyvan and myself are within the same area. Passion, anger, amusement...they all threaten to consume us with a simple look and over the years apart, it seems to have only grown stronger and my willpower didn't stand a chance. He has taken to calling me 'Lioness'. And I have to admit on a girlish whim that it pleases me far more than any other nickname that has been given to me.
Things do seem to be looking up. Kes waits for me when I feel the need to return to the city, or spend time with the Tribe. He even laughed at me when I spoke about the lemon incident. Oh yes, that is something that definitely shouldn't be immortalized in writing, but I shall, to save myself confusion in later years. To make a long story short, there was a dinner for the Tribe, within Netherstorm and after we had all had our fill of the food, a game was suggested. Two lies and a truth. I had attempted to shrink into the background, unsure of what I could or would share with the people I am trying desperately to get to know. But it was pointed out that I had not had a turn, and so there I was, looking upon all of them. I don't know what prompted me to come up with these, but when I spoke, I had said 'I have never worn a very large, yellow plaid shirt before. I cannot fit an entire lemon into my mouth. I have a tattoo that very few have seen.' Of course, the truth is my tattoo. Well, Elder Pipiltin was convinced that I could indeed fit an entire lemon in my mouth, and conveniently she had a lemon on her. Unfortunately, everything stopped at that moment and she wanted me to put the lemon in my mouth. This is truly a moment I will probably never live down. She was staring me down, and so, with very little choice in the matter, I put the lemon in my mouth. And it fit! How embarrassing! I was promised a pie however afterward. A lemon pie.
I cannot believe I have written so much, perhaps I should do this more often so I will not waste such a long period jotting everything down in one sitting.
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