I believe I may be making progress in getting to know more members of the Tribe. I even went so far as to plan an event, inviting all of the Tribe to attend a beach party. Before that however, I was invited to take part in an impromptu swimming party, somewhere in the hills of Feralas. How could I refuse when I heard who would be attending?! An amazing chance to get to know my mentor better, meet and speak to a woman I have only seen a couple of times before, Mukwa, whom I adore, and Westel. Bathing suits and conversation? I was so there. I believe that may have been a mistake. It started out well enough, chuckling, teasing, conversation. However, Mukwa did not have a swimsuit, and so he was swimming in the nude. It didn't bother me, however when he came out of the water, it appears as though he offended Westel, which upset Mukwa who took it to heart that it was an elf party only. Which wasn't the case! I offered to go on a walk with this Tauren, Lina came along and we spoke for awhile. Once more, I found myself defending Westel. Thankfully, I speak so very little, it doesn't seem to strike anyone as strange, there are already assumptions flying around. This swimming party just continued to go downhill from there. We all returned, West didn't move away from Mukwa this time, but it appears as though we interrupted some sort of conversation between himself and a woman named Vivvienne. To make matters worse, Keslyvan showed up. Between glares and frowns from Westel, Vivvienne upset about something, Lina being tired, Mukwa had already taken off...I was at my wits end. Vivvienne appeared as though she were about to cry, Westel took off after her, I am curious as to this connection, but I was certain that I had done something wrong yet again, just when I thought I was making steps forward within the Tribe, I felt as though I had fallen fifty yards in reverse.
Yes, I had spoke to Westel about Kes. Perhaps that was a mistake, but from the moment I met West, I liked him. I could say it all started at a hot spring, but that would be a giant lie and what sense is there in lying to myself? West had invited me for drinks, and I accepted. There's something about this man. Or maybe I'm just lying to myself. I swear, he acts one way with me, and a different way with others, or perhaps he is simply different with everyone one on one. It doesn't really matter. I feel closest to him, I trust him, and I feel as though I can confide in him. To a point. He was there at my interview, he stood outside the tent with me while I was terrified that I was going to be turned away and offered whispered words that caused me to instantly relax and laugh. But that wasn't the moment I first noticed him. No, the apple festival. Silent, stoic, while all his family was enjoying in the festivities, he was on guard. I simply sensed something, and I still have this gut instinct where he is concerned, and he has yet to disappoint me. I can't help but wish I had been given to him, him as my mentor, though there are moments that I firmly believe we may have killed one another. And I do adore Lina, she amuses me as I watch her and listen to her about her life. Anyways, back to West, we spoke at length about Kes, he seems to genuinely care for my happiness. I told him the bold truth, and instantly I was considered selfish. I agree. I attempted to take his suggestion seriously, though part of me believes he may be speaking out of jealousy. Well, when I attempted to simply walk away, prepared to embrace the emptiness and darkness I knew waited...Kes has proven to be a lot more stubborn than I had given him credit for.
I am engaged to Kes, he deserves the chance to make me forget. This upset Westel, and he became formal and cool. I don't believe he got the reaction he may have been seeking, when I read his letter I was instantly furious. But would I give him that satisfaction? Not on his life! I responded in kind, and of course, that was the same day as my beach event. Which went wonderfully, I believe. Tyrlink and I seemed to provide some much needed entertainment for the Tribe, everyone was laughing, drinking, and having a good time. Well, everyone but Kes. He was insulted, come on to, and sometimes often just ignored. There is a past with Kes and my Regent, one I just found out about last evening and one that does not please me in the slightest. However, my coolness towards Westel either bothered him or realized the error of his ways because it appears we have smoothed things over during this party, despite the glares and stares of Kes while it was subtly happening.
That man is one of the most aggravating, irritating, arrogant, with one of the sexiest tattoo'd bodies stubborn males I have ever met! I think he believes he may have solved the riddle that is myself, I simply sit back amused. Does he realize that he fuels the fire? Probably...but he doesn't seem to realize that the more fuel you throw on a fire...it will eventually grow out of control and we all know what happens when you play with fire for too long. I will attempt to keep him and Kes separated, as only horrible things would come of them being too close to one another for too long, but even part of me is amused by the reactions. Little Red has always been seen as the victim of the fairy-tale, my favorite version is when Red defeats the wolf herself. I look forward to getting to know my wolf more, I believe we have much in common and I truly see him as one of my best friends now, and as his friend, I will continue to protect and defend him, even if it is from myself. Game on.
Some things are better left forgotten. I wasn't going to place my thoughts on pages this time, but someone mentioned I may learn from all of this years from now. Mourning is a process, it matters not if you mourn because of death, or loss of another type. Denial, anger, so on and so forth. Its all part of the process, so I'm told. One door closes, three windows open. Remaining silent was not the answer, I wasn't even aware of that until I began speaking.
Annjia, an elf I have met on several occasions proved to be a willing ear, even if I did seem to allude to the strange workings of my mind. It was safer to speak of the Tribe than what was truly eating at me. It did help however, despite my admitting to envisioning members of the tribe as parts of the animal kingdom. Not physically of course, more like personalities, it makes it much easier to not feel so ill at ease. I admit to looking forward to conversing with her again sometime.
Westel had found me directly after I melted two sentimental objects of Jay's. Luckily for me, he did not show up until after the deed was done and was not witness to my own, personal small meltdown. He offered words of comfort and I truly believe he could empathize with my emotions. It was nice to feel a type of sibling bonding...for lack of a better term in that moment. He recently informed me that he and his fiancee have set a date for their wedding. I, of course, offered my congratulations and I truly hope they retain the happiness they have found together.
Westlynn, my Regent, sent food and I admitted to her via a letter that I was certain I was losing my mind. I was terrified that I would be looked upon with derision, but thankfully, the delusions ceased and thanks to my new family and friends, I made it through my own personal hell.
I have not seen my mentor since the day she showed me around her and Kal's home. She seems to be incredibly busy or perhaps I have displeased her in some fashion? Either way, this Lioness will forge her own path, take the mistakes that I make in stride and use them as a learning point while attempting to find my place within the Tribe and family that I desire so much. A new initiate, Tyrlink, a troll with a goblin companion was recently added to our family. He is the mentee of Mukwa. Perhaps my friendship with Mukwa will allow me to get to know this new initiate and his friend, Molly. Speaking of Mukwa, it appears as though the potion I had helped him create is still in effect. It didn't seem to help his memories, but he doesn't seem as confused as he did at one point.
Finding myself homeless, I was offered an adventure. A series of hunts that would not only test my skill, my strength, and my wits, would also offer me a chance to get back to my roots. I remember a time I had spent more time outside the city walls than within. At some point, that had changed. This adventure is...interesting. We are only a few days in, and of course, the man I am with tries my very patience, and my willpower. Unfortunately, my patience seems much greater than said will power. Chemistry is too small a word to define what happens when Keslyvan and myself are within the same area. Passion, anger, amusement...they all threaten to consume us with a simple look and over the years apart, it seems to have only grown stronger and my willpower didn't stand a chance. He has taken to calling me 'Lioness'. And I have to admit on a girlish whim that it pleases me far more than any other nickname that has been given to me.
Things do seem to be looking up. Kes waits for me when I feel the need to return to the city, or spend time with the Tribe. He even laughed at me when I spoke about the lemon incident. Oh yes, that is something that definitely shouldn't be immortalized in writing, but I shall, to save myself confusion in later years. To make a long story short, there was a dinner for the Tribe, within Netherstorm and after we had all had our fill of the food, a game was suggested. Two lies and a truth. I had attempted to shrink into the background, unsure of what I could or would share with the people I am trying desperately to get to know. But it was pointed out that I had not had a turn, and so there I was, looking upon all of them. I don't know what prompted me to come up with these, but when I spoke, I had said 'I have never worn a very large, yellow plaid shirt before. I cannot fit an entire lemon into my mouth. I have a tattoo that very few have seen.' Of course, the truth is my tattoo. Well, Elder Pipiltin was convinced that I could indeed fit an entire lemon in my mouth, and conveniently she had a lemon on her. Unfortunately, everything stopped at that moment and she wanted me to put the lemon in my mouth. This is truly a moment I will probably never live down. She was staring me down, and so, with very little choice in the matter, I put the lemon in my mouth. And it fit! How embarrassing! I was promised a pie however afterward. A lemon pie.
I cannot believe I have written so much, perhaps I should do this more often so I will not waste such a long period jotting everything down in one sitting.
