Summer is burning brightly now. The heat is unforgiving but it seems to be kindling new beginnings all around me, like a wildfire spreading and encompassing everything in its path, leaving ashes but allowing for new growth. And like with any fire, to me it is mesmerizing to watch, hypnotic in its beauty and destruction but overwhelming with its power. The flame, a term that is now used to describe me from my man of the shadows. Kazak'guul has said I am his flame there in those shadows, but I have to question, like any other flame will I destroy what comes too close? Will the shadows eventually smother the flame or will the fire defeat the shadows the loom seductively close? Is either outcome truly beneficial to anyone?
On a lighter note, the mid-summer fire festival is ending, one of my favorite holidays. I took a lesson in fire spinning and I have to say that it was invigorating! I chose the poi and while I received a bruise for my efforts and wasn't quite up to lighting it just yet, I am intrigued and I plan on asking Nystia for more lessons, to aid the fire in dancing, with control and discipline, it seems to be a safe enough outlet for my frustrations that seem to accumulate day by day. Fun, that is a term that I may have forgotten but I am determined to retrieve it and add it back into my everyday vocabulary. I believe I started out quite nicely with my impromptu dancing the other night. The night before Westel's wedding I came upon Zau'tal, Kruega, and Westel. I really should have known better, approach three men, the night before a wedding while the groom was present, I really should have known this would not be in favor. Perhaps a small bit of self punishment for the thoughts I had had when I first saw Westel standing there. But I joined them, and the topic of lap dancing came up, I don't even remember how such a thing got started, but Kruega had admitted that he was not familiar with such a practice. It all kind of snowballed from there. Westel believed that every man should experience a lap dance, I left the decision up to Kruega. We tossed out several possibilities, from visiting the inn in Silvermoon City, though I was concerned about Kruega's allergies, to finding someone within Orgrimmar itself. Finally, I offered up my services. It is a little known fact of how much I adore dancing. It is a wonderful way to expend energy, to allow yourself to put your emotions into pure movement. Westel seemed all too pleased with this arrangement and a secluded building was found, a new outfit, sensual and teasing, was put on and I arrived to find all three men waiting on me. I allowed the music in my mind to take over, dancing for Kruega, attempting to ignore the others were there. I was doing this for him, so that he may experience something in a much safer, controlled environment than if he were to seek it elsewhere. I had a blast, unfortunately, I don't think Kruega was as appreciative of my dance as some may have been, but he wasn't rude, he simply didn't seem to know what to think. I shall attempt to not take that as a blow to my ego.
After that, I did something even more foolish. So much so, I will not write it down, it is not something I am likely to forget any time soon. A moment of weakness, a spark that was struck that at that moment decided to flare to life, whatever it was, when it was finished I swear I could feel my heart shatter. I was wrong, my heart didn't shatter, until the following evening. I am forever grateful to Zau'tal, Westlynn, Mukwa, and so many others. Zau'tal seems to be watching over me, I am certain on orders from Doc. At the wedding, it was no different but he seemed to be enjoying himself immensely with Zeyda and I do hope there is something budding there between them, so, to relieve him of his having to watch me, to make sure I did not break down in front of the large crowd, make a fool of myself further, I left after offering my congratulations to the bride and groom. No one will ever know what that evening cost me. HE will never know how badly I hurt, I will not give him that satisfaction. This huntress will not break, pride and strength, qualities that I pride myself on.
Now, that that little bit is written, perhaps I can move on to better things in my life. I am so pleased that I joined this Tribe. I have met so many amazing beings. Doc and his family of trolls has seemed to adopt me and I adore every one of them equally. Mukwa and I had a small misunderstanding, but he truly is my best friend. I am doing everything I can to help him find his daughter. This list could go on and on and on, I truly feel as though I am part of the family and it only gets better nearly every day! There is a new initiate, or several actually but one in particular that has seemed to taken to stalking me. Alexir. Annoying, irritating, stubborn, cocky, arrogant,
I really should find something else to get into, I've lost so much time writing all this down. A vow to myself though, have fun, enjoy life and embrace my newfound family. There are so many events coming up, and I am looking forward to every single one of them. Until next time.
